Archive for the ‘Feelings’ Category

Did you do anything different today?

In that familiar situation, how did you respond in an unfamiliar way?

Instead of your usual yes, did you say no?

With your regular chair available in the conference room, why not sit in a different one?

Instead of using your right hand to brush your teeth, why not try your left? How would it feel?

When someone misbehaved in a meeting, how did you respond? Or did you?

If no one recognized your different behavior, was it different enough? Why not rerun the experiment?

With the same choices on the menu, what’s in the way of asking for a special order?

Instead of going to the meeting, did you ask someone to go in your place as a growth opportunity?

When you pay attention, you notice more opportunities to demonstrate novelty. Do you pay attention?

If it didn’t create a sensation in your body, did you do anything novel?

When you saw someone respond differently, did they like it when you praised their behavior?

When you have a chance to help someone be successful, why not help them?

When you have the chance to make a different choice, why not make it?

When you have a chance to respond differently, why not do it?

When you have a chance to feel uncomfortable, why not feel it?

One more question for you — What novelty did you demonstrate today?

Image credit — Mike Beales

Projects, Products, People, and Problems

With projects, there is no partial credit.  They’re done or they’re not.

Solve the toughest problems first.  When do you want to learn the problem is not solvable?

Sometimes slower is faster.

Problems aren’t problems until you realize you have them.  Before that, they’re problematic.

If you can’t put it on one page, you don’t understand it. Or, it’s complex.

Take small bites.  And if that doesn’t work, take smaller bites.

To get more projects done, do fewer of them.

Say no.

Stop starting and start finishing.

Effectiveness over efficiency. It’s no good to do the wrong thing efficiently.

Function first, no exceptions. It doesn’t matter if it’s cheaper to build if it doesn’t work.

No sizzle, no sale.

And customers are the ones who decide if the sizzle is sufficient.

Solve a customer’s problem before solving your own.

Design it, break it, and fix it until you run out of time.  Then launch it.

Make the old one better than the new one.

Test the old one to set the goal. Test the new one the same way to make sure it’s better.

Obsolete your best work before someone else does.

People grow when you create the conditions for their growth.

If you tell people what to do and how to do it, you’ll get to eat your lunch by yourself every day.

Give people the tools, time, training, and a teacher.  And get out of the way.

If you’ve done it before, teach someone else to do it.

Done right, mentoring is good for the mentor, the mentee, and the bottom line.

When in doubt, help people.

Trust is all-powerful.

Whatever business you’re in, you’re in the people business.

Image credit — Hartwig HKD

When in doubt, look inside.

When we quiet our minds, we can hear our bodies’ old stories in the form of our thoughts.

Pay attention to our bodies and we understand our minds.

Our bodies give answers before our minds know the questions.

If we don’t understand our actions, it’s because our bodies called the ball.

The physical sensations in our bodies are trailheads for self-understanding.

Our bodies’ old stories govern our future actions.

If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won’t sit on a hot stove again. That cat won’t sit on a cold stove either.  Our bodies are just like the cat.

Our mouths sing the songs but our bodies write the sheet music.

Our bodies make decisions and then our minds declare ownership.

When we’re reactive, it’s because our bodies recognize the context and trigger the old response.

When a smell triggers a strong memory, that’s our body at work.

Bessel was right. The body keeps the score.

 

Image credit — Raul AB

Why is it so difficult to get ready?

The time to start getting ready is before we need to be.

We don’t get ready because the problem hasn’t yet kicked us in the head.  It has only started getting ready to do so.

We don’t get ready because we don’t see the early warning signs.  Like the meteorologist who doesn’t make time to look at the radar and satellite images, if we don’t look, we can’t see.  And if we’re really busy, we don’t make time to look.  What if it was part of our job to look at the satellite images? Who in our company should have that job?

We don’t get ready because we don’t heed the early warning signs. Seeing the warning signs is much different than justifying the reallocation of resources because someone says the tea leaves suggest an impending problem.

We will solve no problem until it’s too late to do anything else.

We don’t get ready because we forget that it takes time to get ready.  We do so little getting ready, we’re unfamiliar with the work content and timeline of getting ready.  We forget that getting ready is on the critical path of problem-solving.

We don’t get ready because everyone is fully booked and we have no excess capacity to allocate to getting ready.  And by the time we free up the resources to get ready (if we can do that at all), we miss the window of opportunity to get ready.

We will solve a problem only after exhausting all other possibilities.

We don’t get ready because the problem is someone else’s.  If we don’t have capacity to get ourselves ready for our problems why would we allocate the capacity to get ready for someone else’s?

We don’t get ready because we try to give our problem to someone else.  Isn’t it easier to convince someone else to get ready than to do the getting ready ourselves?

We will solve no problem until we know we’ll get the credit.

We don’t get ready because problem avoidance won’t get us promoted, though putting out a fire that could have been avoided will.

If a problem is avoided, there is no problem. And since there’s no problem, there’s no need to avoid it.

We don’t get ready because there’s no certainty a problem will be a problem until we have it.  And we can’t get ready to solve a problem once we have it.  Getting ready requires judgment and trust – judgment by the person who sees the early warning signs and trust by the person who allocates the resources.  It’s that simple.

Because we’ve conditioned people to be afraid to use their judgment, they don’t use it.  And because we’ve conditioned people to be afraid to spend the time needed to build trust, they don’t build it.

Now that we have these two problems, how can we make it safe for people to use their judgment and spend the time needed to develop trust?

Image credit — Leonard J Matthews

Bringing your whole self to work takes courage.

What happens when you bring your whole self to work?  Are you embraced, rejected, or ignored?

If you’re not invited to meetings because you ask difficult questions, what does that say?

When you call someone on their behavior, does that get you closer to a promotion?

When you’ve done the work before but no one asks for your guidance, what does that say?

When you say the quiet part out loud, is the good for your career?

When you solve a difficult problem but the solution is rejected due to NIH, what does that say?

When you bring up the inconvenient truth when everyone else is afraid to, what do people think of you?

When you can ask anyone in the company for help and they help you, it’s because they know you helped a lot of other people over your career.

When someone gets promoted out of your team but still wants to meet regularly with you, it’s because they value you.  And they value you because you valued them.

When a senior leader is out of ideas and they come to you for help privately, it’s because you earned their trust over the years.

When someone you helped fifteen years ago tells the story publicly of how you “saved their career” it’s because you made a difference.

When you bring your whole self to work, you know some won’t like it, some won’t care, and some will love it.

And everyone will know you care enough to give it your all.

Image credit — Tambaco the Jaguar

What’s in the way of the newly possible?

When “it’s impossible” it means it “cannot be done.”  But maybe “impossible” means “We don’t yet know how to do it.” Or “We don’t yet know if others have done it before.”

What does it take to transition from impossible to newly possible? What must change to move from the impossible to the newly possible?

Context-Specific Impossibility. When something works in one industry or application but doesn’t work in another, it’s impossible in that new context.  But usually, almost all the elements of the system are possible and there are one or two elements that don’t work due to the new context.  There’s an entire system that’s blocked from possibility due to the interaction between one or two system elements and an environmental element of the new context.  The path to the newly possible is found in those tightly-defined interactions.   Ask yourself these questions: Which system elements don’t work and what about the environment is preventing the migration to the newly possible?  And let the intersection focus your work.

History-Specific Impossibility.  When something didn’t work when you tried it a decade ago, it was impossible back then based on the constraints of the day.  And until those old constraints are revisited, it is still considered impossible today.  Even though there has been a lot of progress over the last decades, if we don’t revisit those constraints we hold onto that old declaration of impossibility.  The newly possible can be realized if we search for new developments that break the old constraints. Ask yourself: Why didn’t it work a decade ago? What are the new developments that could overcome those problems?  Focus your work on that overlap between the old problems and the new developments.

Emotionally-Specific Impossibility. When you believe something is impossible, it’s impossible.  When you believe it’s impossible, you don’t look for solutions that might birth the newly possible.  Here’s a rule: If you don’t look for solutions, you won’t find them. Ask yourself: What are the emotions that block me from believing it could be newly possible? What would I have to believe to pursue the newly possible?  I think the answer is fear, but not the fear of failure.  I think the fear of success is a far likelier suspect. Feel and acknowledge the emotions that block the right work and do the right work.  Feel the fear and do the work.

The newly possible is closer than you think. The constraints that block the newly possible are highly localized and highly context-specific. The history that blocks the newly possible is no longer applicable, and it’s time to unlearn it.  Discover the recent developments that will break the old constraints.  And the emotions that block the newly possible are just that – emotions.  Yes, it feels like the fear will kill you, but it only feels like that.  Bring your emotions with you as you do the right work and generate the newly possible.

image credit – gfpeck

Show Them What’s Possible

When you want to figure out what’s next, show customers what’s possible.  This is much different than asking them what they want.  So, don’t do that.  Instead, show them a physical prototype or a one-page sales tool that explains the value they would realize.

When they see what’s possible, the world changes for them.  They see their work from a new perspective. They see how the unchangeable can change.  They see some impossibilities as likely.  They see old constraints as new design space.  They see the implications of what’s possible from their unique context.  And they’re the only ones that can see it.  And that’s one of the main points of showing them what’s possible – for YOU to see the implications of what’s possible from their perspective.  And the second point is to hear from them what you should have shown them, how you missed the mark, and what you should show them next time.

When you show customers what’s possible, that’s not where things end.  It’s where things start.

When you show customers what’s possible, it’s an invitation for them to tell you what it means to them.  And it’s also an invitation for you to listen.  But listening can be challenging because your context is different than theirs.  And because they tell you what they think from their perspective, they cannot be wrong.  They might be the wrong customer, or you might have a wrong understanding of their response, but how they see it cannot be wrong.  And this can be difficult for the team to embrace.

What you do after learning from the customer is up to you.  But there’s one truism – what you do next will be different because of their feedback.  I am not saying you should do what they say or build what they ask for.  But I think you’ll be money ahead if your path forward is informed by what you learn from the customers.

Image credit —  Alexander Henning Drachmann

The Power of the Present Moment

You can’t see if you don’t look.

You can’t look if you’re distracted.

You can’t be distracted if you’re living in the present moment.

You can’t live in the present moment if you’re sad about the past or afraid of the future.

You can’t be sad about the past unless you want it to be different.

You can’t be afraid of the future unless you want to control it.

You can’t want the past to be different if you accept things as they are.

You can’t want to control the future if you accept you have no control over it.

Yet, we want the past to be different and we want to control the future.

When you find yourself wanting the past to be different or wanting to control the future, focus on your breath for a minute or two.  That will bring you back to the present moment.

And if that doesn’t work, go outside and walk in nature for fifteen minutes then quiet yourself and focus on your breath for a minute or two.  That should bring you back to the present moment.

Everything gets better when you’re sitting in the present moment.

The Power of Checking In

When you notice someone having a difficult time, take the time to check in with them.  An in-person “Are you okay?” is probably the best way, but a phone call, text, or video chat will also do nicely.

When you’re having a difficult time, when someone notices and checks in you feel a little better.

When someone reacts in an outsized way, use that as a signal to check in with them.  Your check-in can help them realize their reaction was outsized, as they may not know.  It’s likely a deeper conversation will emerge naturally.  This is not a time to chastise or judge, rather it’s a time to show them you care.  An in-person “You got a minute?” followed by a kind “Are you doing okay?” work well in this situation.  But a phone call or text message can also be effective.  The most important thing, though, is you make the time to check in.

When you check in, you make a difference in people’s lives.  And they remember.

Is a simple check-in really that powerful?  Yes. Does it really make a difference?  Yes. But don’t take my word for it.  Run the experiment for yourself.  Here’s the experimental protocol.

  1. Pay attention.
  2. Look for people who are having a difficult time or people whose behavior is different than usual.
  3. When you notice the behavior of (2), make a note to yourself and give yourself the action item to check in.
  4. As soon as you can, check in with them. Do it in person, if possible.  If you cannot, call them on the phone or send them a text.  Email is too impersonal. Don’t use it.
    1. To initiate the check-in, use the “You got a minute?” and “Are you doing okay?” language. Keep it simple.
    2. After using the language of (4.1), listen to them. No need to fix anything.  Just listen.  They don’t want to be fixed; they want to be heard.
  5. Enjoy the good feeling that comes from checking in.
  6. Repeat 1-5, as needed.

After running the experiment, I think you’ll learn that checking in is powerful and helps both parties feel better.  And the more you run the experiment (demonstrate the behavior), the more likely it will spread.

And, just maybe, at some point down the road, someone may reach out to you and ask “You got a minute?” and “Are you doing okay?”.

Image credit — Funk Dooby

What do you want?

If you always want to be right, it’s time to ask new questions.

If you want to listen well, don’t talk.

If you want to start something new, stop something old.

If you want to do it again for the third time. give someone else a chance.

If you want it to be perfect, you don’t want to finish.

If you want to do something new, be unsure about what to do next.

If you want to hold tightly to things as they are, all you get are rope burns.

If you want to teach, find a student.

If you want someone’s trust, earn it.

If you want all the credit, you’re fast becoming a team of one.

If you want the Universe to change, don’t.

If you want to earn trust, tell the truth.

If you want good friends, be one.

Image credit — Sowhuan

Are you making progress?

Just before it’s possible, it’s impossible.

An instant before you know how to do it, you don’t.

After searching for the answer for a year, you may find it in the next instant.

If you stop searching, that’s the only way to guarantee you won’t find it.

When people say it won’t work, their opinion is valid only if nothing has changed since the last time, including the people and their approach.

If you know it won’t work, change the approach, the specification, or the scope.

If you think it won’t work, that’s another way of saying “it might work “.

If you think it might work, that’s another way of saying “it might not work”.

When there’s a difference of opinion, that’s objective evidence the work is new.

If everyone sees it the same way, you’re not trying hard enough.

When you can’t predict the project’s completion date, that’s objective evidence that the work is new.

If you know when the project will be done, the novelty has been wrestled out of the project or there was none at the start.

When you don’t start with the most challenging element of the project, you cause your company to spend a lot of money on a potentially nonviable project.

Until the novel elements of a project are demonstrated, there is no real progress.

Jumping Backwards – Cape Verde, Sal Rei” by Espen Faugstad is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

Mike Shipulski Mike Shipulski
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