Shipulski On Design

Archive for the ‘Authentic’ Category

Tell me what you want done, but don’t tell me how. You’ve got to leave something for me.

Better yet, ask me to help you with a problem and let me solve it.  I prefer asking over telling.

Better still, explain the situation and ask me what I think.  We can then discuss why I see it the way I do and we can create an approach.

Even better, ask me to assess the situation and create a proposal.

Better still, ask me to assess the situation, create a project plan, and run the project.

If you come up with a solution but no definition of the problem, I will ask you to define the problem.

If you come up with a solution and a definition of the problem, I will ask you to explain why it’s the right solution.

If you come up with a problem, a solution, and an analysis that justifies the solution, I will ask why you need me.

If you know what you want to do, don’t withhold information and make me guess.

If you know what you want to do, ask me to help and I will help you with your plan.

If you know what you want to do and want to improve your plan, ask me how to make your plan better.

If you want your plan to become our plan, bring me in from the start and ask me what I think we should do.

Image credit — x1klima

Be successful, but be yourself.

Accept people for who they are and everything else gets better.

Tell the truth, even if it causes stress.  In the short term, it is emotionally challenging but in the long term, it builds trust.

Disagree, yes.  Disappoint, yes.  Disavow, no.

Be effective, but be yourself.

If your actions cause pain, apologize. It’s that simple.

It’s easier to accept others as they are when you can do the same for yourself.

Judging yourself is the opposite of accepting yourself as you are.

When someone needs help, help them.

Be skillful, but be yourself.

If there’s an upside to judging yourself, I don’t know it.

When you’re true to yourself, people can disagree with your position but not your truthfulness.

When you help someone, it’s like helping yourself twice.

There are plenty of people who will judge you.  There’s no need to join that club.

When you stand firmly on emotional bedrock, your perspective is unassailable.

When you’re true to yourself, it’s easier for others to do the same.

Be yourself especially when it’s difficult.  Your courage will empower others.

If there’s no upside to judging yourself, why do it?

Some questions for you:

How would things be different if you stopped judging yourself? Why not give it a try tomorrow?

Wouldn’t you like to be unassailable? Why not stand on your emotional bedrock tomorrow?

Over the next week, how many people will you help?

Over the next week, how many times will you demonstrate courage?

Over the next week, how many times will you be true to yourself, even when it’s difficult?

Image credit – _Veit_

If you don’t believe in the project, the team will sense it; energy will drain from the project; and no one will want to work the project.

If you don’t believe in the project, you can’t make yourself believe in the project.

If you don’t believe in the project, you can’t fool people and make them believe you believe in the project.  Your disbelief will flow from your pores like a bad smell.

If you don’t believe in the project, your disbelief will weaken an already weak project.

If you don’t believe in the project, your disbelief can twist a good project into a bad one.

If you don’t believe in the project, it may not be the right project, but you are not the right person to run it.

If you don’t believe in the project, but the company still wants you to run it, the worst thing for the project is for you to run it; the worst thing for the company is for you to run it; and the worst thing for your career is to refuse to run it.

If from the start you think the project will fail, tell the right people why you think it will fail. If after telling them why you think the project will fail, they then ask you to run the project, you have a problem and a choice.  Your problem is you’re the wrong person to run the project.  Your choice is to run the project into the ground or take the lumps for not running it into the ground.

My choice is to give someone else an opportunity to run the project.  I think life is too short to run a project you don’t believe in.

Image credit — Bennilover

When you catch someone doing good work, do you praise them?  If not, why not?

Praise is best when it’s specific – “I think it was great when you [insert specific action here].”

If praise isn’t authentic, it’s not praise.

When you praise specific behavior, you get more of that great behavior.  Is there a downside here?

As soon as you see praise-worthy behavior, call it by name. Praise best served warm.

Praise the big stuff in a big way.

Praise is especially powerful when delivered in public.

If praise feels good when you get it, why not help someone else feel good and give it?

If you make a special phone call to deliver praise, that’s a big deal.

If you deliver praise that’s inauthentic, don’t.

Praise the small stuff in a small way.

Outsized praise doesn’t hit the mark like the real deal.

There can be too much praise, but why not take that risk?

If praise was free to give, would you give it?  Oh, wait.  Praise is free to give.  So why don’t you give it?

Praise is powerful, but only if you give it.

Image credit — Llima Orosa

If you have nothing to say, be the person that doesn’t say it.

If you’re not the right person to do it, you’re also the right person not to do it.  Why is it so difficult for to stop doing what no longer makes sense?

If it made sense to do it last time, it’s not necessarily the right thing to do this time, even if it was successful last time.  But if it was successful last time, it will be difficult to do something different this time.

If we always standardize on what we did last time, mustn’t this time always be the same as last time? And musn’t next time always be the same as this time?

If it’s new, it’s scary.  And if it’s scary, it’s bad.  And we don’t like to get in trouble for doing bad things. And that’s why it’s difficult to do new things.

Deming said to “Drive out fear.” But that’s scary.  What are the attributes of the people willing to face the fear and demonstrate that fear can be overcome?  At your company are they promoted? Do they stay? Do they leave?

Without someone overcoming their internal fear, there can be no change.

If a new thing is blocked from commercialization because it wasn’t invented here, why not reinvent it just as it is, declare ownership, and commercialize it?

If prevention is worth a pound of cure, why do people that put out forest fires get the credit while those that prevent them go unnoticed? Does that mean your career will benefit it you start small fires in private and put them out quickly for all to see?

If you always do what’s best for your career, that’s not good for your career.

When you do something that’s good for someone’s career but comes at the expense of yours, that’s good for your career.

Why not say nothing when nothing is the right thing to say?

Why not say no when no is the right thing to say?

Why not do something new even though it’s different than what was successful last time?

Why not demonstrate fearlessness and break the trail for others?

Why not be afraid and do it anyway?

Why not build on something developed by another team and give them credit?

Why not do what’s right instead of doing what’s right for your career?

Why not do something for others?  As it turns out, that’s the best thing to do for yourself.

Image credit — Steve Hammond

Credibility built – when the situation is not good, you say “the situation is not good.”  And when things went poorly you say “things went poorly.”

Trust built – when things go well you give away the credit.

Credibility built – when you provide a controversial perspective and three years later it turns out you were right.

Trust built – when you share your frustrations in confidence.

Credibility built – when you ground your argument in facts, especially inconvenient ones.

Trust built – when you say “I will keep that in confidence” and you do.

Credibility built – when you don’t know, you say “I don’t know.”

Trust built – when you do something that benefits others but comes at your own expense.

Credibility destroyed – when you tell people things are one way when they know it’s the other.

Trust destroyed – when you respond from a hardened heart.

Credibility destroyed – when you tell partial truths.

Trust destroyed – when you avoid doing the right thing.

Credibility and trust are a powerful one-two punch, but only if you build them.

Image credit — _Veit_

Strivers do what’s best for them.

Thrivers do what’s right.

Strivers want more.

Thrivers want what they have.

Strivers can’t push back on people that are higher on the org chart or disagree with them.

Thrivers push back and disagree regardless of the org chart.

Strivers trade promotions for family.

Thrivers put family first – no exceptions.

Strivers are less than forthcoming to avoid conflict.

Thrivers put it straight over the plate to create the right conflict.

Strivers get led around by the nose.

Thrivers will punch you in the nose when you deserve it.

Strivers don’t have time for trust.

Thrivers put trust ahead of all things.

Strivers do the wrong things that come at your expense.

Thrivers do the right things that come at their expense.

Strivers step on your head.

Thrivers put you on their shoulders.

Strivers create headwinds to slow their peers.

Thrivers create tailwinds for all.

Strivers are afraid of thrivers because they cannot manipulate thrivers.

Thrivers don’t like strivers because they manipulate.

Strivers use the formal organizational structure to exert power.

Thrivers use their informal networks to make the right things happen.

Strivers blame.

Thrivers make it right.

Strivers are forgotten.

Thrivers are remembered.

Will you be forgotten or remembered?

If you didn’t get what you wanted, why not try wanting what you got?

If the timing isn’t right, what can you change so it is right?

If it could get you in trouble, might you be on to something?

If it’s impossible, don’t bother.

If it’s easy, let someone else do it.

If there’s no possibility of bad things, there’s no possibility of magic.

If you need trust but have not yet secured it, declare failure and do something else.

If there is no progress, don’t push.  Move the blocking agent out of the way.

If you don’t know where the cost is, you can’t design it out.

If the timing isn’t right, why didn’t you do it sooner?

If the project went flawlessly, you didn’t try to do anything meaningful.

If you know some people won’t like it, isn’t that reason enough to do it?

If it’s almost impossible, give it a go.

If it’s easy, teach someone else to do it.

If you don’t know where the waste is, you can’t get rid of it.

If you don’t need trust, it’s the perfect time to build it.

If you try the hardest thing first and it doesn’t work, at least you avoid wasting time on the easy stuff.

If you don’t know the number of parts in your product, you have too many.

If the product came out perfectly, you took too long.

If you don’t give it a go, how can you know it’s impossible?

If trust is in short supply, supply it.

If it’s easy, do something else.

If forgiveness is so much better than permission, why do we like to do things under the radar?

If bad things didn’t happen, try harder next time.

Image credit — Gabriel Caparó

When we quiet our minds, we can hear our bodies’ old stories in the form of our thoughts.

Pay attention to our bodies and we understand our minds.

Our bodies give answers before our minds know the questions.

If we don’t understand our actions, it’s because our bodies called the ball.

The physical sensations in our bodies are trailheads for self-understanding.

Our bodies’ old stories govern our future actions.

If a cat sits on a hot stove, that cat won’t sit on a hot stove again. That cat won’t sit on a cold stove either.  Our bodies are just like the cat.

Our mouths sing the songs but our bodies write the sheet music.

Our bodies make decisions and then our minds declare ownership.

When we’re reactive, it’s because our bodies recognize the context and trigger the old response.

When a smell triggers a strong memory, that’s our body at work.

Bessel was right. The body keeps the score.

Image credit — Raul AB

How do you spend your time?

How much time do you spend on things you want to do?

How much time do you spend on things you don’t want to do?

How much time do you have left to change that?

If you’re spending time on things you don’t like, maybe it’s because you don’t have any better options.  Sometimes life is like that.

But maybe there’s another reason you’re spending time on things you don’t like.

If you’re afraid to work on things you like, create the smallest possible project and try it in private.

If that doesn’t work, try a smaller project.

If you don’t know the ins and outs of the thing you like, give it a try on a small scale.  Learn through trying.

If you don’t have a lot of money to do the thing you like, define the narrowest slice and give it a go.

If you could stop on one thing so you could start another, what are those two things?  Write them down.

And start small. And start now.

Image credit — Pablo Monteagudo

What happens when you bring your whole self to work?  Are you embraced, rejected, or ignored?

If you’re not invited to meetings because you ask difficult questions, what does that say?

When you call someone on their behavior, does that get you closer to a promotion?

When you’ve done the work before but no one asks for your guidance, what does that say?

When you say the quiet part out loud, is the good for your career?

When you solve a difficult problem but the solution is rejected due to NIH, what does that say?

When you bring up the inconvenient truth when everyone else is afraid to, what do people think of you?

When you can ask anyone in the company for help and they help you, it’s because they know you helped a lot of other people over your career.

When someone gets promoted out of your team but still wants to meet regularly with you, it’s because they value you.  And they value you because you valued them.

When a senior leader is out of ideas and they come to you for help privately, it’s because you earned their trust over the years.

When someone you helped fifteen years ago tells the story publicly of how you “saved their career” it’s because you made a difference.

When you bring your whole self to work, you know some won’t like it, some won’t care, and some will love it.

And everyone will know you care enough to give it your all.

Image credit — Tambaco the Jaguar